You are in control of this, okay?”His voice was so soft, so considerate, so cozy, I just wanted to embrace him and kiss him and love him forever. What I did was say “Okay,” and nod my head in agreement.Max slowly returned his hands to my hips and got himself into a comfortable position. Again, he cautiously moved towards me, and as the very tip of his cock touched my ass, I pulled away from him and yelled “Wait!” again.“What?” Max asked again, not annoyed or impatient, but with the same amount of genuine care as he did before.“Just…go slow,” I pleaded. “And be gentle,” I added after a few seconds of silence.Max put his hand on my shoulder. It was warm, and my shoulder fit perfectly into the curvature of his hand. It felt like a blanket.I turned around to face him and immediately melted. His face, usually drawn up into that silly grin of his, was relaxed and soft. He had a small, inviting smile and his eyes looked at me with a softness and care they never had before. My skin was. I opened my window and lit a Kool cigarette.I was angry. Angry at myself but more angry at Rachael. Pulling my clothes off I stared between my legs at the source of my problems. "Why are you such a whore?!" I yelled down. Balling up my fist, I punched my pussy as hard as I could."There, Rachael, I hope you felt that!" I said falling back reeling in the pain I had just inflected. After a few minutes the stinging diminished and I sat back up.Grabbing the outer lips, I pulled on them, stretching them as far as I could stand. "I hate you, Rachael," I screamed down at the opened hole. "You are a worthless piece of shit, you know that?" It didn't really make sense to do that, but it felt good to get it out. Rachael wanted me to be her surrogate and somehow I saw my pussy as belonging to Rachael and by unleashing my anger on "her", I felt better.I pulled out my diary and began writing what had happened.My mom bought it for me as a present Christmas before last.The first six months was.
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